Sexual Jokes and Professionalism

A friend of mine in my doctoral program was asking me about my use of sexual humor. Inquiring as to why I was so sexual sometimes in my joking.  


Sexual humor is a pretty common conception in western and eastern cultures alike. We see it on television programming, in comic books, and even in advertisements. It seems as if sex has become the butt of many jokes (oh yeah, sex pun inside a commentary on sex jokes). Sex can be an uncomfortable topic. Most cultures have taboos and mores about sexually appropriate behavior and socially appropriate discussion. I tend to dis anger with social mores developed out of shame and fear. Identifying as a doctoral student, a therapist to be and a sexually exploring young male I find that my humor can get kind of sexual. I suppose, given my history, identity as a bisexual male, and my current occupation/education there has to be a balance in how much I use sexual humor. 


I believe context is all that really matters. Knowing one’s audience. Jokes are just jokes, right? 

Sexuality in Context

Sexuality in Context

Hey gang!


I’m not normally a fan of news, but every once in a while there is an article that catches my eye.

I found a neat opinion piece on sexuality that caused me to rethink some attitudes of my own. The part about gender and colors was interesting being a younger male growing up and living in fashionable areas.


This article seems to reinforce the idea that contextualism, not necessarily rationalism or hedonism, can guide people towards healthy sexual exploration and non-judgmental attitudes about sex. I like it.



7 Mistakes Men Make?

Found this interesting article from WebMD.

I agree with most of the “mistakes” generally.

As usual, the bias here is towards heterosexual males, which leaves those of us on the middle or other end of the spectrum out. Honestly, the health risks associated with homosecual sex are greater…so why not have sincere discussions about them.

Sexual Addiction

As an explorer of sexuality and a therapist-to-be I find that sexual addiction is  a concept I come across often. People may have a lot of sex and not be considered addicts, while, on the other hand a person who rarely engages in sexual activity can be considered an addict. but what constitutes “being an addict”?? 

The general definition of an addict goes something like this: a person who engages in some kind of behavior in a compulsive manor (i.e., is seemingly out of the persons general control) accompanied by significant impairment in one or more areas of their psychological,  spiritual, financial, social, or family functioning.

When it comes to sex, for me, it comes down to intimacy. Attempting to get unmet intimacy-sexual needs met from compulsive encounters (i.e., hookups) or chronic masturbation/porn use tends to be both personally and socially destructive. Honestly, it’s sad because it causes chaos and leads to unnecessary drama.

Everyone’s heard stories about politicians having affairs, sending pictures and famous athletes being chased down by the paparazzi after their most recent indiscretion. And sex addiction is common across race, sex, and economic strata. It’s a phenomenon that straight, gay, bi–all people–deal with. Often, people think of gay and bisexuals as hypersexual and hedonistic. However, the prevalence of sex addiction in the gay and bi side of the spectrum is relatively the same as for heterosexuals.

I found an interesting perspective on sex addiction. I’m not religious, but happy to work with sound ideas regardless of their hermeneutical origins.

What do you all think?

The Kinsey Institute

The Kinsey Institute

Good evening all!


As a psychology nerd and an enthusiast of exploring sexuality I find myself constantly going back to The Kinsey Institute for resources. Now, the movie and the myths about the seemingly “crazy” things Alfred Kinsey did in order to establish statistical norms for sexual behavior may or may not be true. Honestly, every genius of our time was strange and did even stranger things. Einstein collected cigarette butts, Van Gogh cut off his ear for a girl he was obsessed about, Descartes was a sexual hedonist, etc. 


What strikes me is the general lack of research and headlines on their site about bisexuality. We seem to be an invisible majority. What a shame.

Bad Words

I was discussing with my partner the other day how derogatory words carry different weights for different sex’s. Men get called bastard, ass hole, dick, prick, and fag most commonly (in my experience) and women get called cunt, bitch, whore, skank, and dyke. Two things came to mind when looking at these words. First, (in my experience) men in western culture’s tend to be less offended by their common derogatory names–with the exception of fag because it insinuates non-manliness. This is interesting, I wonder if all the movies with “bad boys” and stereotypical “bad men” who accomplished big things have made it more “okay” to be bad for men. Second,is the experience of non-manliness as damaging to men as non-womanliness is to women?? With all the male-dominant ideology of religious and western culture’s I imagine it’s not the same in impact. So what if a guy likes dick? He’s definitely gay(er) if he does.

Words are meaningless if you make them to be. How do words rule your life and affect your sexual self expression?

Sexual Self Acceptance

I imagine self acceptance is a far fetched concept nowadays. I wonder if a person’s sexual self is just as unaccepted given all of Western culture’s messages about beauty and faux independence.